Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
