i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
this hospital has no fireball
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
