i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
