Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
