I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
