i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
