Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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