I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
