Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
