But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
