but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
