I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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