I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
