I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
