the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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