oh god the rape fog is back!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
