What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
