I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I die, sorry about rent.
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