Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
