3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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