i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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