I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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