Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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