I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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