But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
