Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
