I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
