JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
