Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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