If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I die, sorry about rent.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
