Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
