I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
