names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
