The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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