I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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