Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
