his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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