got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
