I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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