How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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