Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
