There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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