You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
