she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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