Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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