I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
