were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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