Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
