I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
