He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
